Lemon Life

I HAVE MOVED

2006-09-08T00:08:00.000-05:00

New City, New blog.

Find me here Smog Life

Rising from the ashes like a Phoenix

2006-05-18T22:11:00.000-05:00

It has been a long time.

I have been cheating on you all and writing a family blog to keep my multi-city realives updated on my life, but have been feeling quite censored and really missed Lemon Life. I hope that you haven't given up on my completely. Thank you to Katie who asked me to come back in March. I hope you are still out there.

My life has been chaotic and for once I am having fun living it, hence no blog. Also, it has taken me a while to get used to my surroundings. I felt like a big part of Lemon Life was a vehicle for rumination and now that I have gotten my barings I hope to write often.

I know, I know I say that all the time, but this time it is different.

Love,
Lemon Life

back from the dead .. almost

2006-01-10T20:49:00.000-06:00

forgive me for I have sinned, it has been a month and five days since my last post.

Sorry everyone, I am moving to Los Angeles on Monday. I promise to blog more often starting on Janury 17th.

Until then.....

huh?

2005-12-04T13:28:00.000-06:00

I do not remember when I posted anything about lemon laws. I hate when Stephanie takes over my blog. She is a butch mechanic and likes to listen to Car Talk . Maybe she felt inspired to post on my blog when I was taking a back seat in my head.

I get the weirdest comments sometimes and I really do not know where there are coming from.

its been a long time

2005-12-04T13:18:00.000-06:00

That last post was supposed to be that I had a Roberta Flack song stuck in my head, but for some reason he text did not get posted. thank you reader for emailing me and asking me who roberta was. Its is in fact roberta flack.

Sorry that I disappeared of the face of the earth. I see that a lot of the blogs I read also have authors who have also taken a hiatus. Except for Souled On. (Click to the right)

Where have i been?
Busy
Los Angeles
In love
and incapacitated due to throwing out my back. i don't know how, but I think it had something to do with my huge box of winter clothes.

Due to this recent injury I have not wanted to lug my computer around. Also, I wanted to keep the movie Idea post recent so that more people would read it.

That Roberta thing was weird wasnt it?

roberta

2005-11-07T12:52:00.000-06:00

moving closer to divorcement

2005-11-03T12:37:00.000-06:00

As I have mentioned in a much earlier posting a friend of mine in currently going through a Divorce. I am planning on holding a divorcement party and I guess I could use a little help.

Back story
My friend was married to this woman for about six years. About three years into the marriage she became extremely depressed and decided that she could no longer work but she wanted to maintain the lifestyle that she was accustomed to and continued to spend.
This made my friend have to work a lot, but he loved her so he didn’t have a problem with it. Due to his work, he was often out of town. Occasionally he’d come home after weeks to find a bunch of truly random things she had done. For example she would have bought 12 lamps, or forgotten to deposit money in the bank so the mortgage check would bounce or that she hadn’t done anything at all for the weeks he’d been gone. She would be in the same clothes, had not showered and that dirty dishes were heaped on all of the countertops

We all agree that this was sad and that depression is a crippling disease but things had gotten worse for him when checks began to bounce because he trusted her with the money and she was doing other truly horrible things.

Because she was not working and needed money she began to sell a lot of his collections on ebay or half.com. She sold his $150 architecture books and his awesome movie collection (oftentimes movies I had bought him for birthday or Christmas presents. Or gifts he had not given me yet.)

She kept all of this money for herself to buy books, lamps, clothes etc. None of this money went to the outstanding bills.

I figure that there were about 200 movies in all. I can think of about 50 movies that he had.

Readers, I need your help. I would like to have some movie suggestions since I do not know a lot about anime and I have run out of ideas. His movie tastes are as follows.

Rushmore-Wes Anderson
Jump Tomorrow- Joel Hopkins
Audition-Takashi Miike
Amelie-Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Character-Mike Van Diem
Gallipoli-Peter Weir
Miller’s Crossing- the Cohen Brothers

Email me your suggestions at lemonlifemail@yahoo.com. Thank you in advance for your help.

such a perfect day

2005-11-03T10:05:00.000-06:00

Today is one of those perfect days at work. I am the only one here this morning so I am taking the time to be lazy. Kind of sounds uptight doesn't it.

I am wondering if anyone is still listening to my radio station. I am having a bit of trouble with it lately and it is recommending songs and groups I really do not like, for example the spin doctors. I am beginng to think that my radio station does not know me at all. If anyone is tuning in, let me know how you like it or what you dislike about it. Also, if you have any suggestions of bands or songs please email me or comment here.

music.yahoo.com

my station is: lemonlifemail

I don't know what to title this post

2005-11-01T12:34:00.000-06:00

Well, my blog postings have been a bit heavy lately. I guess I am a victim of the Minnesota weather. I bet you are missing my commentary on pop culure.

Vauganiston? are you serious? I want LeeLee Sobieski and Jake Gyllenhaal to start a realtionship becasue I would love to see how they mix up that one.

Lady Lumps? BEP just when I think your lyrics are horrideous, you find a way to go even lower. kudos!

Or the songs that are stuck in my head.

"Rocky Raccoon" by The Beatles.

I promise to get back to normal real soon.

October-amendment

2005-11-01T12:25:00.000-06:00

Here is the number for the National Domestic Hotline. If you need help getting away from an abusive partner, they can help you find resources in your area.

National Domestic Violence Hotline @ 1(800)799-SAFE

The most powerful word you can learn is no.

Thank you readers for submitting this to me.

Organization of the Month-October

2005-10-29T16:53:00.000-05:00

There are only two days left in October and I thought I would post this information I found that the Aurora Center gives girls who are just starting relationships, this can be for boys too.

How to spot a Loser Lover...

They come on strong and quickly become jealous. Professions of love for you early in the relationship and wanting to know where you are at all times are signs of control issues and can be dangerous.

They are completely self-centered. Partners who ignore your thoughts and opinions will resist equality in the relationship.

They don't take responsibility for their behavior. Partners who do not see their own errors or flaws will blame you for whatever goes wrong.

Their temper scares you. Angry, jealous or controlling behavior isn't likely to change and will usually get more frightening-or more violent-over time.

Their life hasn't jelled. Chaotic financial problems, gambling debts, drug or alcohol isssues, or histories of losing jobs or having trouble with the law are all signs of risky partners.

They force you to have sex. No One has the right to make you have sex, regardless of how your partner tries to coerce you. Forced sexual contact is sexual assault and is illegal.

You feel that something is wrong. If you sense you're in an unhealthy relationship, you're probably right.

(This information was taken from a publication from the Aurora Center in Minneapolis. The information is not under copywright. Feel free to pass on this information and translate it into as many languages as youd like)

If you feel like you are in n abusive relationship you are not alone. Please contact local agencies such as The Soujourner House. If you are having trouble locating shelters and resources in your area please email lemonlifemail@yahoo.com.

Please be safe.

yay!

2005-10-29T16:51:00.000-05:00

I am going to be an aunt!!!!!!!!!!!

critics

2005-10-24T12:53:00.000-05:00

The thing that pisses me off the most about critics and North Country is that they say that Charlize Theron is too pretty to play that part. I am from the Iron Range and I am fucking gorgeous.

Screw you critics, I have jumper cables and I know how to use them!

so what are you doing tonight?

2005-10-13T15:16:00.000-05:00

I know that there are people who live in Los Angeles who read this blog. If you are not busy tonight, could you do me a favor and go to my friend's improv show tonight. Everyone in the group is seriously funny and it only costs $5.

Title: Above the Bar
Where: St. Nick's Pub Theater- 8450 W. 3rd St. LA CA
When: 9:00 p.m. (There are two shows 9:00 is all them, 10:00 is a show that you can participate in)

It is every Thursday so if you can't make it tonight there is always next week.

Do me a second favor and go up to Asher after the show and tell him LL sent you. It would surely freak him out becasue he doesn't read my blog.

Thanks!

Organization of the Month-October

2005-10-12T13:06:00.000-05:00

This is my first send in for an organization of the month. It is by a long time reader who has worked with this organization. I am honored to announce that Lemon Life’s Organization of the Month is…..

Sojourner House

The Mission:
The mission of Sojourner House Domestic Violence Program is to provide a comprehensive program of crisis intervention,counseling, advocacy and shelter for victims of domestic violence in Mahoning County.

What they do:
They offer protective shelter to women and their children whom are fleeing an abusive environment and who cannot safely remain in their current residence. The shelter location is kept as confidential as possible to ensure the safety of residents and staff. Many victims of domestic violence are displaced without money, clothing or food and are in need of emergency shelter. The short-term refuge available at Sojourner House (up to 30 days) provides battered women a chance to think calmly and examine their options without pressure or fear. During their stay, women receive assistance to help them meet their emotional, legal, medical, financial, housing, educational and vocational needs. It gives them an opportunity to initiate solutions to the problems they are experiencing and make positive changes in their lives.

How you can help:
click here for a wish list of items that they need and how you can donate money.

The information about this organization was taken directly from their website. If you have anything you would like to add please let me know and I will post it.

Sometimes...

2005-10-08T14:13:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I get discouraged
I look around and, things are so weak
People are so weak
Sometimes,
Sometimes I feel like crying
Sometimes my heart gets heavy
Sometimes I just want to leave and fly away [fly fly fly, like a dove]
Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself [ow!]
Passion takes over me
I feel like a man
Going insane
Losing my brain
Trying to maintain
Doing my thang
Hey hey hey hey hey
Put my heart and soul into this y'all
I hope you feel me
Where I am, to wherever you are [ha ha ha ha]
Sometimes I don't want to be bothered
Sometimes I just want a quiet life, with
Me and my babies, me and my lady
Sometimes I don't want to get into no war .....

-excerpt from "Umi Says"-Mos Def

Sometimes it's nice to know that you aren't the only one out there who feels so overwhelmed.

Something I Just Can't Say

2005-10-04T15:00:00.000-05:00

Do you know what intrigues me as a Seafood and Mexican food lover, but what I will never order for myself?

A fish taco. I just can’t say it. That might mean that I am a prude, but I just cannot say fish taco in public.

Sorry.

Friedman was right

2005-10-04T14:52:00.000-05:00

About a month ago a co-worker of mine, (not the pop music lover, she is now in LA) and I went to lunch to escape our office. When I got to the counter to pay, the man behind the counter asked what my name was. I thought it strange so I asked…

“Why?”

“Because I would like to buy your lunch today?”
“Why?”
“Because I am the manager and I can”
“Thank you. You don’t have to.”
“I wanted to.”

And with that he was gone.

It is not strange for me to get free stuff.

My co-worker and I sit at a table at the farthest side of the restaurant because situations like this make me uncomfortable.

“Oooh, he likes you.” My co-worker teases. “He didn’t offer me a free lunch.”

I forgot to mention that she screamed “Where is my free lunch?” after he had disappeared.

“Maybe he does, but I know what this means.” I reply. “Now this means that I am going to have money trouble.”

“You are being silly.”

A week later……

I am running out the door late, as usual to a friend’s birthday party. I grab my digital camera from the top of my dresser and unknowingly the camera strap is stuck in the top right hand drawer.

WHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

It swings like a pendulum rattling back and forth. I turn it on to see that the LCD screen is for lack of a better word “burnt out” and although it is not in little pieces it looks like broken glass.

A pure accident, not intended damage. I love my camera I would never ever break it on purpose.

But try telling that to Best Buy who talked me into buying this stupid four year warranty which does not cover this. I told my friend about it and she said that she never buys these warranties and says that people should just throw that money in the garbage because inevitably the thing that breaks is the one thing that it doesn’t cover.

Best Buy recommends that I call Sony. I call Sony the issue with my camera is not covered even though I bought the camera two months to the day of when I made the call. So, they tell me that if I want it fixed I need to send it to Connecticut and for them just to look at it would cost $171. (If you don’t remember I live in Minnesota and this is the closest repair center???!!!??)

I HAVE ALREADY SPENT $350 WHEN I BOUGHT THE CAMERA TWO MONTHS AGO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO PAY YOU $171 JUST TO LOOK AT IT. YOU ALL FUCKING SUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT?!!!!

About a month ago…..

At our normal staff meeting we find out that the nonprofit I work for is $40-$140K short of our expected incoming funds and basically if no other funds comes in we will run out of money in 2 and a half months.

Basically what this means in a Minnesotan passive way is that in 2 months we will run completely out of money and in all intents and purposes we are bankrupt. Although I would love to point fingers, you have no idea who I would be talking about and it wouldn’t make any sense to you.

This week is the first week where my hours are cut. Not that I needed to make less money than I already do.

Here is my dilemma, in an I Heart Huckabees type of way I feel that my streak of bad luck is definitely a result of that manager buying me lunch. Do I go over there and buy him lunch to even out the Karma and reverse this before anything else happens? Or is it all in my head?

billboard

2005-09-28T12:56:00.000-05:00

Thank you very much for your recommendation for the singles site, but I am not single.

Thank you very much for the advanced screening opportunities to Serenity, but I am not the sci-fi type.

Is anyone else being advertised to in their blog comments and can tell how do you get it to stop?

If you are actually concerned about my love life, I apologize but do not use my blog as a way to advertise to others. My email has and always will be lemonlifemail@yahoo.com. Advertise to me and not my readers.

Disclaimer: The advertisements you see that are non social justice related are not to views of lemon life. If you are being advertised to at Lemon Life please be sure that it is not by me.

I am so, so sorry and promise to remedy the situation and hope that my 13 readers are not offended and think that this blog has just become another way for advertisers to bombard you.

take to Glendale for a really nice meal

2005-09-28T12:50:00.000-05:00

Song stuck in my head today is...

"Debra" by Beck.

Has anyone waited the 7 minutes or so from when the song stops until the actual end. I think bonus songs are overrated and why do you have to wait so long to get to them? Musically speaking, the five minute wait for a bonus song is one of my hugest pet peeves.

Pre- distressed jeans –Con

2005-09-27T12:07:00.000-05:00

I have been waiting to tell this story as to protect the ego of a certain person that I will not name because to be honest I did not catch his name, but he will forever be know to me as Mr. Bubblegum.

It is a warm Midwest summer day and I am sitting in a circle of plastic lawn chairs in my new back yard. I am crocheting and talking as I often do a parties I host or co-host because I am an introvert that feels like I need to have some sort of conversation starter even among my close friends who have written this off as a quirk of mine.

A friend of mine shows up with a friend of his from out of town. Out of town guy is the hipster metro borderline type who is wearing a tight polo shirt and tighter pre-distressed jeans. The pockets are worn and he has a rip mid-thigh of his right pant leg. I have always wondered why people pay so much to have pre-distressed jeans. Thrift stores are cheaper. Oh well I guess it is cool, which I lack the ability to be I guess.

Mr. Out of Town is really chatty. We learn that he is only in town for another 36 hours and he has not slept a wink in order to spend as much time soaking up Minneapolis as he can because he hasn’t been here in years and it will be years until he’ll be back. We are graced by his presence on day 3 of the awake fest. As the night progresses he relaxes more and more in his chair.

Hour two: legs widen and is it just me or has the pre-distress hole in his pants gotten bigger?
Hour 2.5 he slumps in the chair. Uhm.. I think that there is another hole a bit north and in a bit.
Hour 3: he slumps and widens to reveal..

We will now switch to the conversation in my head…
Oh my god! Is that what I think it is? No, it can’t be. Look away, it can’t possibly be. Just talk to someone else, because it is not what you think it is. How could someone you don’t know come to your house warming party to show you his testicles? It’s not. Okay. Or is it? You should look again just to make sure. You have to do it quick girl because you can’t make it look like you are staring. Okay it’s not.

A few minutes later…

It totally is his lefty. You aren’t wearing glasses and you are a bit tipsy and single. So let’s look again just to make sure. Okay the jury is out, just stop thinking about it. It’s not, Its not It’s not.

He slumps and widens trying to make the cheap plastic chair as comfortable as possible to reveal that his pants have completely disintegrated and his jeans actually belong in a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog.

Oh my god! Are his pants completely crotch less? They are!! Is that shaft? Look away look away. Okay look. He isn’t wearing underwear. Oh no his boys are totally going to land on my neighbors lawn chair! What do I do? Look away! I am a girl and I can’t admit that I have noticed. Look away! Don’t laugh. Should I let it go? Which is worse though, completely exposing yourself to a bunch of people you do not know or having some cute girl tell you that his left testicle plus is hanging out. Which is worse? Which is worse? What do I do?

Just as my brain is ready to melt because of my dilemma, my roommate asks if anyone wants anything. I jump from my chair and run after him.

We walk into the kitchen and I have to hold onto the counter to steady myself from the laughter that I have kept for this moment.

“What’s so funny?”
“Do you know that guy from out of town?”
“Not really.”
“I have a dilemma and I was wondering if you could do me a favor, because I just can’t”
“Why do you think he is cute?”
“No,” I gulp “It’s just that.. uhm.. he has those predistressed jeans on and well… There is a hole.”
“…. In his pants and you can totally see his boys. His bubblegum”
“You knew!”
“Uhm yeah.”
We share a laughter break.
“You have to say something. He is totally going to have an accident on the upstairs neighbors lawn chairs. And when we get out there you cannot look at me because I will totally lose it and he will know that I have been taking a gander at his junk.”

My roommate and I sit down and of course he looks at me and I start to laugh, he laughs so hard that he falls down a bit and when he recovers himself. He looks at Mr. Bubblegum and says.

“Hey dude, I don’t know you that well. But I can totally see your business.’

Mr. Bubblegum does not seem too phased and replies.

“Oh, so you can totally see my brain skin.”

Which is by far one of the strangest things I have ever heard.

Let this story be a cautionary tale on why you should think twice about buying Pre-Distressed jeans.

1 for the Con column.

Blog Blitzkrieg

2005-09-27T11:56:00.000-05:00

Sorry my blog has been sparse these past couple of months. I am without wireless and as I have mentioned before the two coffee shops in my new neighborhood do not have a wireless connection. I feel really lost without it. Going cold turkey on the blog has really made me realize what an addict I have become.

So I have taken to writing my entries in word and what will follow is bunch of entries I would have posted if I had the internet. These will entries will probably come in spurts (like love)

Use sparingly.

PO

2005-09-20T12:16:00.000-05:00

I am in a bit of a debate on whether or not I should get a PO box. I really want to make this a more interactive experience, but money is a bit on the low side. I’ll keep you posted. (tee-hee…posted.. did you get it?)

Lemon Life's Organization of the Month-September

2005-09-14T13:03:00.000-05:00

Without a doubt my organizations of the month is any organization who is participatining in the Hurricane Katerina Relief efforts.

Please check out the following links, if you haven't already:

www.redcross.org -who is a great organization whether it be in a time of national or personal crisis.

The Salvation Army -It's just not for Christmas anymore.

So think on it.
Donate.
Be a good citizen.
Be aware.
Think about how far we've come, how far behind we are.
Think about how you would feed a family of 4 on $5.65 an hour. ($6.15 in Minnesota)
Become more involved and less self involved.
Do -not talk about what we should do.

-Peace-ll

untitled

2005-09-14T12:55:00.000-05:00

It has been so long since I blogged that I actually forgot my password to get in. No lie.

I could sit here and apologize about why I haven't blogged. I am not going to. Just know that I have been having fun and when I havent been having fun, I have been contemplating all the news that I have been watching. Although this blog is usually a forum for me to discuss my views I am so shocked that I am still trying to suss them out. I am looking forward to Bush's "I done fucked up" address to the nation this Thursday. The truth is he done fucked up

top 10

2005-08-28T09:06:00.000-05:00

Surprisingly, my relatives did not ask why I was not married yet at my sister's wedding. I think that perhaps they have given up. Which isn't so bad, becasue it makes family functions less stressfull. If they would have asked me this is what my top answer would have been:

Because sometimes love just isn't enough. You need to feel respect and pride too. If someone compromises your pride in yourself and the self respect you have for yourself than love is not enough.

I am not someone who wants to be treated like a princess and who thinks that love is like the love songs on the radio I have been in too many relationships where I have been compromised to know that that is not how love is supposed to be.

I don't mean stupid compromises like having Star Wars action figures lining our living room. I mean that when you say really mean things about me like "It is people like me who start the Holocaust" and I start to cry, it shouldn't turn you on and in the midst of my sobbing you shouldn't undress me. You shouldn't use my quickness to cry when frustrated as a tool.

Not a stupid compromise to not be public about our relationship because it could get you fired because you are my manager at work, but that I shouldn't be upset that you deny your relationship with me (and in demeaning ways). I also shouldn't be upset that when we broke up the next girl at work gets to hold your hand and kiss you in the middle of the restaurant in front of the very people you were so afraid of while still seeing me on the side.

That is why I am not married.

don't call it a comeback!!

2005-08-27T01:57:00.000-05:00

So as per Treat William's advice, I took some time to enjoy my Summer and not live life as fast as I could write it down. I reverted to my old social self, saw friends I hadn't seen in a while, read books, started talking again to someone I probably shouldn't (Blogging actually saves you a lot of money, drinks are really expensive) I also took some time to check out the blogs located to your right.

To Hookers on Stilts: To say that you do not have any redeeming qualities is truly a shame. I honestly do not believe that for a second.

To all my readers, run do not walk to itunes et all and download Jean Grae's Keep Livin'. I think you can find it on an Okay Player compilation. Listen to it twice and I will write more in the morning.

I'm excited to start blogging again.

hiatus once again

2005-08-16T22:29:00.000-05:00

I am in the midst of my sisters wedding and know that I won't be able to post for a while. I was told to stop apologizing for being away from my blog and that I should take some time to enjoy my summer. I do have a lot to say lately and it is all swimming around inside my head. So when I do come back I promise the following:

The cons of predistressed jeans
drive from the southwest revisited
top ten reasons I am not married yet as told to me relatives at sister's wedding
new links
how to stop secret readership
One thing I did that was very embarassing-shout out to a friend I miss
Heiroglyphics show-I hope

I hope some of you are at least going to check out the Hip Hop festival this weekend. In case anyone is wondering, no one took me up on my free ticket offer. Oh well.

Song stuck in my head tonight "She's Got You" Patsy Cline.

wow

2005-08-16T22:27:00.000-05:00

Reading my blog when you are on vacation in Aruba, now that is dedication.

my pockets hurt revisited

2005-08-14T17:29:00.000-05:00

Mi crazón se va de mi
¡Oh Dios (mío)! ¿acaso me volverá?
Tan mal (es) mi doler extraño
(que) enfermo está (mi corazón), ¿cuándo sanará?
-anonimo

(see may archive)

lemonism 1

2005-08-12T17:30:00.000-05:00

(That makes me sound pretentious, but this is advice you can use damn it!)

If you are going to intentionally be a bitch, never ever say anything stupid becasue if you do, you will always be known as Ms. Lemon Bar.

(This lemon reference has nothing to do with me, but I would have to quit my job to tell you this story)

all around the world the same song

2005-08-09T11:49:00.000-05:00

Can anyone tell me how 2pac hooked up with the Digital Underground?

“Ghost People” or “2”

2005-08-07T14:52:00.000-05:00

This weekend is the anniversary of the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

I don’t think that Americans give proper thought to events like this; events that we carried out, events that we inflicted on other people.

Please educate yourself reading from the following links:

www.dannen.com/decision
See the Top Secret transcription of the Order to carry out the bombings.
Hear the radio address by former President Truman which refers to Hiroshima as a naval base.

The World Hear from the last of the survivors

Some of you may have been burned by seeing Alain Renais “Night and Fog” in high school but forget all that and go out and run to pick up Hiroshima Mon Amour Which uses actual footage of the aftermath. It is also one of my favorite movies.

Sorry to drop something heavy on you on your last night of your weekend, but sometimes something heavy motivates you to do something truly great.

i feel so used

2005-08-07T13:49:00.000-05:00

If anyone is using me to get to the ever so funny waiterrant, it has moved to its very own website! It ever has a store. I am so jealous.

Now go to waiterrant.net

Happy reading

it is not really national??

2005-08-05T12:33:00.000-05:00

I was talking to a friend of mine in LA and I had happened to mention to him what I had done for National Night Out. He followed by asking me what National Night Out was. So I explained to him that it was the first Tuesday in August where neighborhoods blocked up their streets, had bbq's in order to get to know eachother and to provide a night where everyone had a safe alternative. (My friends and I usually have a debaucherous night of djs spinning hip hop and dub, compare new tatoos and drink a lot of beer.) I guess in LA they do not celebrate this and he doubted that anyone besides Minnesota celebrated something so midwestern. My reply was that it would be called National Night Out if it wasn't national. So readers if you can help me prove or disprove my point I would appreciate your NNO stories for NNO 2005.

As always lemonlifemail@yahoo.com

love will tear us apart

2005-08-03T21:08:00.000-05:00

The song I have had stuck in my head for the past few days has been....

"Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division.

I think that the key word in this song is AGAIN.

Hey interpol!! Yeah you. You know that you want to do a cover of this song. Why don't you just do it? You know you want to. Maybe we don't want you to, but you know that it has been itching at you for a while.

I do a pretty mean impression of Interpol signing "Slow Hands" no one can get me to do it though. Maybe I should do an impression of Interpol singing "Love Will Tear Us Apart."

a question for the canadians

2005-08-03T12:37:00.000-05:00

Dear people who read my blog in Canada,

I was wondering if they still made Hostess Ketchup Chips. If they do, and I had a post office box, would you send them to me? Dipping your chips in ketchup just isn't the same.

If you say yes, I promise that I will send you something in return.

Thank you,

Lemon Life

Lemon Life Organization of August

2005-08-02T16:27:00.000-05:00

The organization that I chose for August is The Center for Independent Artists or the CIA, which we joke is the more friendly, giving CIA.

Mission:
Center for Independent Artists celebrates the role of the independent artist as visionary. It provides individual artists with resources and services so that they may realize their artistry to its fullest potential. The Center nurtures independent artistic vision, fosters diverse cultural perspectives and seeks to build an educated, enlightened citizenry.

What they do:
Basically what the CIA does is that they support artists by find grants and other resources for you to do your art. Also, as part of the bigger Instituto de Cultura y Educacion they also have a theater and huge gallery at their disposal for artists to show their work.

Events:
During the month of August the Center for Independent Artists is celebrating the Frinj of the Frinj festival. There are a lot of really great local artists participating and you can get the schedule on the website

How you can help:
You, as an artist, can sign up to be a member. See the website for membership details or like most nonprofits they really don’t care if you just write them a check.

Check them out!! They are a great artist resource even for those of you not living in the Twin Cities area.

13 helens agree

2005-08-01T13:06:00.000-05:00

I hope that this is the last of my apologies regarding my blog.

Dear 13 people who read my blog,

I would like to apologize for not updating my blog all that often. I currently do not have wireless at my new apartment and although this is probably a rarity, none of the coffee shops in my neighborhood have wireless either. I asked the owner of the coffee shop half a block away if he had wifi and he asked me in his thick Russian accent if I was a "computer geek ". I am trying to work out the wireless situation.

What I am hoping is that I will come back with a new and improved blog. I really don't want people to be confused between my blog and this other blog I spied called The Lemon Wedge which has the same background, which is basically about teen girl angst and crushes.

Please send me some blog love. I am feeling down on it at the moment.

Ms. Lemon.

P.S.

2005-07-29T12:27:00.000-05:00

I hate when I go to the movies and forget what I am about to see because of all the previews. I guess in other cities they don’t do this. Is that right?

I miss you and Pearl Harbor really sucked-parker and stone

2005-07-28T18:49:00.000-05:00

If you love excessive product placement and over the top explosions then you’ll love The Island.

Yes, I saw The Island. It was hot and I needed a break from the unpacking that I am now doing. Basically, it was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. In fact I just got done laughing about it a few minutes ago. I don’t really want to waste your time explaining all of the reasons I didn’t like it, I just want to warn you that it is a total waste of $8-$10. I know you have much better things to do with your money. To confess, I had only gone to see it to watch Ewan McGregor run around in tight pants for a couple hours. I hope you can forgive my digression, as a newly single woman sometimes you just need to do a bit of gawking.

In case you were wondering my dear Angelinos in the future there are still Johnny Rocket’s in Los Angeles.

What is up with the Hollywood Machine lately? Is everyone completely out of ideas? Has reality t.v. ruined our ability to think and imagine?

I have seen many articles lately about how box office sales are continuing to plummet and how once dvd sales and rentals used to save lagging profits, but now aren’t. You can blame Chinatown and dvd recorders all you want, but honestly has there been a movie that you have been excited to see lately? It has been a while for me too and I really haven’t seen a preview for anything that I want to see.

Here are the previews that preceded the film:
Carlitos Way prequel that will be shown on television. It kind of seems like it will be a series.
Beautiful people- a new television show.

A movie where beautiful people are killed by the natural elements called The Fog

An Al Pacino movie that looks truly awful called 2 for the Money

A movie with Cillian Murphy being creepy called Red Eye

Walk the line, Which I wouldn’t mind seeing because I am a music addict.

That movie where Reese Witherspoon is a nurse turned ghost that probably has the word heaven in the title Hey it does

Somebody please help me. I used to really like going to the movies. I can forgive the fact that I have to butter my own popcorn, just please someone come out with a movie I want to see.

thank you tsa

2005-07-26T12:30:00.000-05:00

Last night I caught the nightly news for a couple minutes. It's all I can take really becasue it is the same news over and over.

Suicide/car bomb in Iraq
Heatwave
Another kid shot by mistake in Minneapolis

One thing that I did catch during my breif minutes of national news watching, was a story about how the tsa or related security organizations think that they are going to start racial profiling to try to deter terrorism.

They are going to start? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ha ha ha ha ha ha start? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Thank you tsa for the biggest laugh I have had in a really long time. You crack me up.

Yo! The Movement Last entry

2005-07-25T12:16:00.000-05:00

So the month is almost to a close. My organization of the month Yo! The Movement only has a few more days to shine until it is finally August. I hope you liked this debut feature of Lemon Life’s Organization of the Month. I wish I had a bigger audience to spread to word.

Now is the time that I am going to jump on my soap box. (If you don’t like it please skip to the next paragraph.) I have worked for a nonprofit for quite a few years now and have seen the recent trend in funding and how the economy has effected the way foundations and individuals give. The current administration would really love if you gave all of your money to Christian/faith based organizations. (Let’s just say Christian, you know you will be red flagged if you gave to a Muslim organization- which technically is faith based) The thing is though that there are a lot of really truly great organizations who are really struggling out there and need help. There are tons of ways that you can help the organizations in your neighborhood. I would be happy to help you locate something in your area. My suggestions include looking into your local public schools volunteer program, local charter schools usually have less strict guidelines about curriculum and look for innovative classes for their students (My friends have volunteer/taught dance, hip hop history and graffiti), there is an awesome website called Idealist.org that has tons of opportunities both in the paid and non-paid variety. I wish that there would be a celebrity concert/benefit for our Public School System. I do not want to diminish any of the work that people have done in the wake of the Tsunami or G8 summit, but why does something have to become a pandemic or a celebrity saying that it is cool for anyone to give a flying rats ass about anyone else.

Now that I have that out of my system I am going to let you know that the schedule is now up on the Yo! The Movement website and on the closing day Slick Rick is going to be there. I am going to try to make it, but sister’s wedding trumps any plans I have for that weekend.

As soon as the month ends, my invitation to buy your ticket (1 day or 3 day) also expires. If you are interested you will get a) a 1 or 3 day ticket to the Twin Cities 4th Annual Hip Hop Festival and b) a guest post on Lemon Life.

As always my email is lemonlifemail@yahoo.com.

Every time we say goodbye

2005-07-20T23:35:00.000-05:00

Hi. You have reached Lemon Life. I am not able to come to my blog right now because I have moved. I promise to get back to you as soon as possible. If I do not get back to you in a week please don't hate me. You may leave all messages to me at lemonlifemail@yahoo.com.

Thank you.

From Cali to New York

2005-07-20T22:24:00.000-05:00

Although it was in my best interest, sometimes I kick myself for not moving to Los Angeles this year. I am especially kicking myself because of the pure an utter lack of decent shows coming to Minneapolis this summer. (I am crossing my fingers for a decent line up at the Hip Hop Festival) If you would like evidence please visit www.pollstar.com and type in a city search for minneapolis. There is a show in L.A. this weekend that I would have killed to see. This would be my one big show of the summer.

Mos Def and Femi Kuti at the Hollywood Bowl!!!!!

I am so jealous of whomever is going. Please Please Please someone email and tell me how it is. I know there are Californians reading my blog. (Thank You Stat Counter)

For anyone who likes the music coming from the Kuti legacy and lives in the NYC area check out Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra . I promise it will be fun and you will leave the show less stressed from all the dancing and and more informed about the world.

Seriously if you are going to the Hollywood Bowl show email me at lemonlifemail@yahoo.com I want to live vicariously through someone who has the chance to see a great show this summer.

YOU HEAR THAT MINNEAPOLIS!!! STEP UP!!!

Yo! The Movement Update

2005-07-18T22:06:00.000-05:00

I know a lot of you are probably thinking that I have dropped off the face of the Earth, but I haven't. Moving in 95 degree weather does not make you want to reach for anything that exhudes heat, including your trusty laptop. I apologize.

July Organization of the month:
I spoke to an acquaintance of mine who is a Yo! The Movement staff member and member of local Illuminous 3 this weekend and he gave me the skinny on what is up with the Twin Cities Hip Hop Festival. They are having a bit of a problem with city zoning laws (This years event is at First Avenue and 7th Street Entry of Prince's Purple Rain fame.) So things are a bit tied up with local breuacracy, but he promises that the website will be updated soon with bands, vendors and the like.

I don't know if ya'll are waiting to see who the bands are to take me up on my ticket offer. That is okay, I understand.

If you don't know what I am talking about see my posting called THINK GLOBALLY ACT LOCALLY.

Back to packing....

Dreamy

2005-07-14T22:04:00.000-05:00

Song stuck in my head tonight, although unfortunate is:

"Don't go breaking my heart." Sung by Elton John and Kiki (Dee).

This has nothing to do with my previous post. It has everything to do with a school girl crush I have recently developed for a soccer player also named "Kiki"

grrr!

2005-07-12T20:15:00.000-05:00

I think the thing I hate the most right now is packing. What a pain in the ass. I suppose it wouldn't be if I weren't such a pack rat.

I am a pack rat mainly because I personify things and become way too nostalgic. I needed to take a break for a minute because I just went through little things that I had kept from my last misadventure in dating. Receipts, a program I made for his play, movie ticket stubs, etc.

What I need right now is for all of you to email me and say:

"He is a fucker don't call him."

You may cut and paste this and put it in the email or come up with some creative version of the afore mentioned statement. To get extra brownie points include how sweet and nice I am and that I really don't deserve to be strung along by a pathological liar.

To anyone who is going through the same situation of a former mate "caught in the anorexic space between love and hate" (-Cannibal Ox) DON'T CALL. DON'T EMAIL. YOU ARE ONLY PREVENTING YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.

(Sorry for the digression. I am usually such a private person when it comes to my extremely personal life, but I am having a bit of a hard time because it is hard for me to be mean. If anyone would like to teach me how to be mean via correspondence I am open.)

As always lemonlifemail@yahoo.com

Movin' on up

2005-07-12T16:36:00.000-05:00

I would like to apologize in advance that I probably won't be posting all that much starting next weekend. I am finally moving out of my apartment and on to a much safer neighborhood. I move on with mixed emotions. Sadness, because I love the diversity of the neighborhood and I love my beautiful view of downtown. Ultimately I am very happy and excited for all of the sleep I will be getting. No gun shots, no crackheads fighting in the middle of the street. Yay! My new neighborhood is very cute and filled with mom and pop stores, which I also love to support. By the way, is anyone interested in going as my emissary to the 4th Annual Hip Hop Festival in August? I am serious about buying your ticket. (See think globally act locally)

American Dream

2005-07-11T21:50:00.000-05:00

Let me begin this post first by saying that tpt/pbs' show P.O.V. is one of the best things on television. Hands down it is one of the only things that makes me really think, doubt, infuriates me and increases my mental vocabulary by leaps and bounds. If you have the chance, try to catch "Street Fight" a first hand account of the mayoral race between Sharpe James and Corey Booker in Newark, NJ. Never have I seen the United States as such a third world country. (If anyone can tell me what it was like to be there please email me, I would really like to know.)

no bra with that blouse- so necessary (summer 3)

2005-07-10T21:59:00.000-05:00

Another thing I like about summer is no bra weekends.

Why is it socially acceptable for a man to wander around outside sans shirt but women have to teather themselves? It is way too hot, it just isn't fair.

THINK GLOBALLY ACT LOCALLY

2005-07-07T21:21:00.000-05:00

I decided to start a new feature of my blog called…

LEMON LIFE’S ORGANIZATION OF THE MONTH

The organization I am going to feature for July is Yo! The Movement

What this organization does:
Yo the Movement is a nonprofit that that hosts and promotes safe events and happenings for youth in the Twin Cities.

Why I like it:
It is run by a lot of really great big hearted folks who put on really great events for kids as a positive alternative.

The staff is in various local Hip Hop groups that has helped put Minneapolis on the map as a Hip Hop force to be reckoned with.

The Annual Celebration of Hip Hop is basically put on by a staff of under ten people. I have a lot of respect for people who can do that.

How you can help:
It seems to me that the main source of revenue for this organization is the Annual Celebration of Hip Hop. Information is on their website.

Other:
I am not sure how else you can help. I will keep you updated. I am sure that you can probably just write them a check, but I am not sure if they are a program that has a different fiscal agent. (EXCEPT IF YOU ARE A DOCTOR FROM NIGERIA WHO IS SEEKING ASYLUM AND IN ORDER FOR YOU TO NOT PAY TAXES ON YOUR MONEY YOU MUST DONATE TO AN ORGANIZATION WHICH YOU WILL GIVE A CUT AFTER THEY PAY YOU THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS)

I have been looking forward to going to their Hip Hop festival since last year’s where I saw Jean Grae and Cee-Lo (GREEN MOTHERFUCKER!) Unfortunately my sister is getting married the same weekend. So if you see some girl two feet from the stage in a bridesmaid dress that is me and say hello. I probably won’t be there so if someone would like to go as my emissary I’ll figure out a way to pay for your entrance and if you write a review or what you did and saw there send it to me and I can post it on Lemon Life.

everything will be fine

2005-07-07T07:27:00.000-05:00

Sending out positive thoughts to a friend who is havng surgery today.

technical difficulties

2005-07-05T19:44:00.000-05:00

i am having some trouble with my links list. i hope to remedy the problem tomorrow. I just can't fix it today and am being confused.

New link!!!!

2005-07-05T18:13:00.000-05:00

I have waited long enough to post this link. I waited a bit because it is a relatively new blog and wanted to make sure I waited so that people had a fair representation about how great it is.

Souled On (Music, Art, Politics and Life)

Why I love this blog:
I learn something new every time I read it, I think Saul Williams and Sun Ra are great and underrepresented for their contributions to music and art, it's funny, this blog was one of the only blogs that had the cajones enough to comment on the Michael Jackson trail, and hmm.. I'll let you see for yourself.

Keep writing Souled On because I wait in giddy anticipation for when you have a new post.

PSA

2005-07-03T00:59:00.000-05:00

To all of my blogfans and their families and friends

Do not drink and drive

Do not drink and boat

Do not drink and swim

Please be safe and have a happy fourth and a pain free national hangover day on 7/5.

The various of the various and sometimes kitschy

2005-06-30T20:37:00.000-05:00

Since music is really important to me and because it is often featured in my blog I have put together a radio station for your listening pleasure. Because

Treat Williams

It has taken me quite some time to get it where I wanted.

Here are the details:
Go to: music.yahoo.com
I think you need a yahoo address. If you don’t have one sign up for one and use it as the junk box for all of sweep stakes and drawings that you sign up for and hey it’s free.

Put in the station you want to listen to as Lemonlifemail.

If you have any problems email me. I love to help.

Misadventure in apartment hunting

2005-06-28T21:10:00.000-05:00

From a previous post you know that I have now started apartment hunting. At this point I have seen one.

My future roommate and I show up at the apartment for our 2:30 appointment and sitting on the lawn are these two drunks with a golden retriever puppy. I think to myself "oh great a dog."

Note: I am not a dog hater. I just have not had the best dog experiences as of late. I am a bad dog owner hater, there is a difference.

I hope that these are not the owners.

“Rick, Rick” the man scream slurs “There are people here to look at the apartment”

“He’ll be right out.” The equally drunk girlfriend/wife says to us stumbling incredibly close to me.

We sit outside and the drunk man tries to engage us in conversation. We give yes or no answers and mainly just try to ignore him. I have seen this type of drunk before. If you start a conversation they will just keep talking and talking. If you try to excuse yourself they will follow you, a half a block if they have to.

The drunk man gets more impatient and gets up and before he departs he says something unintelligible to the dog. I pry a book of matches out of the puppy’s mouth 30 seconds later.

“Hey” Rick says coming out of the apartment. He sakes our hands and says who he is.

We walk into the duplex and Rick confides in us that “those” people do not live here.

I was relieved but then it dawned on me that they would probably be visiting whomever wasn’t moving out of the other apartment every nice weekend. As lawn ornaments I would have a pony tailed blonde shirtless drunk man, his pony tailed blonde wife and there mischievous phosphorous loving golden retriever. He would be drunk and come over to borrow some sugar hoping to get some sugar. This of course would be all my fault and the drunk wife would accuse me of “lookin’ at her man” and probably bring me on Springer. It would be awkward and I would have to shut off the lights and pretend I wasn’t home all weekend.

Rick begins the tour of the apartment by saying:

“There is a Spanish family living here now.”

Merriam Webster defines Spanish as being from Spain. Just because people speak Spanish does not mean that they are from Spain. I speak Spanish I am not from Spain. The people who live in this apartment are from Mexico.

“Yeah.” He continues. “The people living here now are on assistance. I don’t want anyone on assistance living here. I was nice and found them a new place to live, but I don’t want anyone on assistance living here.

Rick you deserve a medal for your good service and caring towards people in your community. We the community thank you for evicting people from their apartment because they are on assistance and finding them a new apartment. You are very gracious. Your achievements are so laudable that we deem this day June 27th in the year of our lord 2005 Rick the Landlord Day and it shall be celebrated as such from now onto eternity.

From this point on I really do not want to look at the apartment anymore because the more this guy talks the more I think that he is a ginormous asshole. There is no way that I can let my roommate know this. (Note to self figure out a signal so that we are ever in this situation again we can stop the tour and not waste our time.)

“Yeah, this place isn’t showing very well because of how these people have left it.”

Throughout the rest of the tour of the apartment he keeps on cutting down these people in front of them. The parents may not know English but I am sure that their kids do.

“None of this foil will be here. The people here now do a lot of splatter cooking. It can get pretty messy.” (The mom is in the kitchen when he says this.)

“Yeah. These rugs will be gone too. They were nice enough to put these rugs down to protect the flooring, but it isn’t really my decorating style. You don’t have to keep them here.”

Whenever we went to a room he would always describe the room’s features and always end by saying “… and none of this stuff will be here.” In regards to the current tenants personal property.

To be honest the apartment wasn’t that great in the first place. He said that he had had the place for 26 years and it was really in disrepair. Soot in the corners of the walls everything was old and not really taken care of. He said that before we would move in all of this would be repainted and fixed, but how many times have I heard that before from a landlord.

I will be looking further thank you very much Rick the landlord. If I run into anymore assholes I will be sure to post it.

The song stuck in my head unfortunately and very coincidental is a song from the musical RENT. You know the one with all the counting. I saw the preview for it before a movie I saw tonight and so that is why it is stuck in my head. I am not a big fan of musicals, but hey the songs are catchy so here it is stuck. If it is still in there tomorrow I will probably find some way to surgically alter my brain.

"The F-Word"

2005-06-27T22:05:00.000-05:00

I hate when you write a blog about something really serious and then you don’t know what to write because everything you write after seems so trivial. How do I follow that last posting with something like a current event in the lives of a celebrity or how much I don’t like the Beach Boys? That is my conflict now. Sorry if it takes a couple days to right myself.

I have spent the last couple days chain book reading instead of blogging.
"Running with Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs to "My Friend Leonard" by James Frey.

Needless to say both are very uplifting and are really feeding into my recent misanthropic leanings. I love people really but sometimes you have a day where everyone is just such a fucking asshole. That day was today.

The song stuck in my head this evening is "The F-Word" by Cannibal Ox. I love Cannibal Ox.

Yes Mom, I know aka Murderapolis

2005-06-25T21:45:00.000-05:00

Yes, Mom I know

I live in a neighborhood that is known for being a bad neighborhood. My family and friends have not been thrilled about my living there. To be honest I am no longer thrilled about it either, but it used to be great. I used to live in a building with a bunch of considerate fun people, but now it is barking neglected dogs and drum kits. My rent is only $365 and my electric bill is $9 and I just pay a neighbor $5 to help pay for the wireless in the building. Now that the people aren’t the Atari party loving kids I used to live with and now that my building has been broken into 3 times, it is time to move on.

Lately I hate the news. I cringe after every time I see/hear that there is another murder in my neighborhood. I cringe because I know my mom is watching the TC news and I hate the calls I get from her, because Mom I know.

Earlier this week a man was shot executioner style in broad daylight on one of the busiest streets in the city. Many people saw this happen since this is a high traffic street. Two days later no one came forward to tell what they saw. Bullets often times to not reach their targets and a boy who was laying on the floor at his Aunt’s house was grazed in the arm by one of the bullets that was intended for the man who had already been shot several times.

This summer our murder rate is up so far by almost 60%. We are on our way to becoming Murderapolis once again.

I am not afraid that I will be shot and killed in my neighborhood because the victims often times know the people that shoot them. They are caught up in this gang war game where the “others” need to be eradicated off the face of the earth no matter who gets hurt in the process.

I am afraid because the Minneapolis Police do not make me feel safe. Calling them is like putting a message in a bottle and hoping it goes where it is supposed to and finding out later that it is floating in the middle of the sea with all the other bottles that other people have sent out.

Our dealings with the police have been less than positive:

When they ask for a description of the people you are calling about and you are giving height, weight and clothing description they pretty much interrupt you and say “Is he black or Hispanic?

They usually say something that makes you feel worse like. “Oh yeah, we get calls about that house all the time.” Or “Oh Tony yeah I guess we will have to talk to him again.”

I was speaking to a teacher at work and she said that when she called about dealings going on at the abandoned house across the street from her house in the adjacent neighborhood some suburban cop pulled up and got out of the car and shouted to her “Hey, are these the people you called about?” as he pointed out the people across the street.

They say that they also do not get a lot of other complaints from other people in our area and that it is just us. One, insinuating that we complain too much. Two, the reason that people aren’t complaining is because the police department doesn’t have a lot of people who speak a language other than English and we are one of the few apartments that have English speaking tenants.

Maybe I am too compassionate and angry to live here anymore. My students and their families live here. I do not want any of them to be shot while doing their homework, or walking from the store with their friends or waiting for the school bus in the morning. I want the police to be accountable.

It is time to move.

Summer part 2

2005-06-24T13:36:00.000-05:00

You know that it is summer (Beep,Beep ) because you (Hey girl, do you need a ride ) can’t walk (Honk, Beep Are you working?) down the street (Ay Mamasita) and just think to your(Honk, Honk) self.

I need to sleep why wont you let me sleep

2005-06-22T23:04:00.000-05:00

I have been really tired lately and my brain has completely melted. I am now getting up around 6:00 a.m. and for a waking insomniac who is not a morning person that is very very hard. By the way I usually wake up between three and five a.m. central time so if anyone wants to email me go ahead.

Tonight I will leave you with a Dadism since we had dinner tonight.

"it is not whether you glass is half empty or half full,...maybe it is the size of your cup."

This is in regards to me wasting my potential by working at a place where three years ago I knew there was no more up for me. My father is very smart, don't let the dadism fool you, and has been working at a factory all of his life because when he started he was making more than his father ever made. He doesn't want me to work at a place just because I am comfortable, because being comfortable in your workplace is a trap.

Anyway, I hope my brain adjusts to my new lifestyle of getting less than six hours of sleep so that can be a more frequent and coherent blogger.

Be careful what you ask

2005-06-20T18:56:00.000-05:00

The other day MSN posed a question that lead into an article..

Have the Black Eyed Peas sold out?

My answer is yes, most definately they did.

I used to really like the Black Eyes Peas. Things have really changed with the addition of Fergie . I am not a woman in hip hop hater, but she really put this pop angle on them that I don't really care for all that much. (Did you know she was in Kids Incorporated?) She is cute and can belt out a chorus as good as the next person but now their lyrics lack a lot of the substance that they used to. My evidence is "LETS GET RETARDED"??!!!

My Hip Hop has to move me, give me a history lesson, provide socio-political commentary, be lyrically clever (Rhyming the same words together drives me crazy), give props to those who came before and have very limited radio play. (i am such a snob sometimes)

BEP you are no longer the group I fell in love with. You are completely different and I don't know you anymore. I think it is over between us, things will never be how they were. It saddens me, but I know what is best.

If you are a fan still I just want to say that they put on a very energetic show.

Everyone's favorite party game

2005-06-19T11:22:00.000-05:00

When I go to a party everyone's favorite party game is to tell me who I look like. Here is the list in order of frequency:

Three I don't understand:
Sally- The love interest in the "Nightmare Before Christmas"

Toni Collette

Sandra

(This last one was from a former manager of mine. He said it was because I have a big mouth. I don't take too much of what he says seriously because he was kind of crazy. We always had to watch him at our after bar parties because he used to stay until a lot of people were gone and like to use that opportunity to take showers. It wasn't just our after bar parties either. He is now a real estate agent, how convenient.)

Just another Saturday in the 612

2005-06-18T22:22:00.000-05:00

Star siting:
Today while walking around one of our ten thousand lakes I spied Morgan Spurlock of "Super Size Me" fame. He has a new show called "30 Days". I wonder why he is here.

Kids these days:
Tonight I went to my first professional soccer game. I don't really follow soccer so sometimes I had a hard time following the game. The thing I like about going to games of any kind is that I get to scream for no reason. I really like doing this quite a bit, especially after the week I had.

Before the game my friend and I were confronted by a group of 12 year olds.

"Hey give me a dollar." The ring leader spits at us.
"I don't have a dollar." My friend replies.
"Hey your girl, I saw her naked." He replies directing the comment at me.
"Yeah, I fucked her." Another 12 year old says.

Never had I wanted so bad for a 12 to turn into a 25 year old so badly. The only thing I could say without my usual tourretic outburst when grown men say that to me was..
"I am old enough to be your mom. Shut up."

I should have gone over and picked him up by his chones, but you have to sink pretty low to battle a 12 year old.

This is for you Mr. Bush...

2005-06-17T21:43:00.000-05:00

.... who happened to visit my fine state today.

The Divorcement Movement

Attention: All family values Republicans might want to skip this posting, if you read my blog at all.

It is a fact in the U.S. that nearly all marriages end in divorce. I say this as a friend of mine is days away from his divorce being final. Although it is a sad situation, deciding that you no longer want to be with someone you loved once is a very hard thing, we, who are his friends and have been there during this three year ordeal are quite frankly very happy. I know that there are others in this situation. Come on admit it you are happy that your friend is getting a divorce finally after talking about it for so long. Divorce is sad, but maybe it doesn’t have to be.

I would like to start the following movement for all of those people who are either excited about their impending divorce or who are friends of the person who is ending a miserable situation.

Divorcement parties!

Why you should celebrate divorcement:

Because sometimes your friends are equally happy when you get a divorce than when you are engaged.

Because when you get a divorce you do end up losing stuff that you really need like pots and pans, furniture, books, etc.

People who are getting a divorce should be able to register at Target and Crate and Barrel and have Divorcement party planners just like their soon to be married counterparts.

It is just a thought.
Congratulations, man I can’t wait until you are basking in the light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!!!!!!!!

Summer part 1

2005-06-17T20:11:00.000-05:00

Do you know what i like about being an adult?

Adult swim time.

The State of the Union

2005-06-16T07:33:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or did you think that governors had something better to do in their states other than argue about who's state quarter is better?

... like maybe planning their states party to celebrate the conversion of Katie Holmes to Scientology?

Sometimes I get so frustrated.

A love letter to two people

2005-06-13T20:38:00.000-05:00

Thank you, Thank you everyone who says such lovely things about me and my blog.

Damn! Mr. Treat Williams you have clout, due to you and your last entry I have had over 40 people read my blog within 24 hours. We will have to match Hip Hop wits one of these days. I know that I can only be an apprentice.

Ms. Britt thank you
1) For saying such flattering things that every time I read them I blush a little bit.
2) For expanding my blog horizons and initiating me and Treat Williams on the same day.

love,
Me
(To read either of these blogs please see my links list.)

two new links

2005-06-12T10:03:00.000-05:00

I have provided two new links to blogs that I like reading.

Treat Williams - If anyone likes hip hop as much as I do or has ever loved hip hop ever, this blog is a must read.

Erebus+terror - So literary and thought provoking sometimes it makes your brain melt. (Thank you for wishing me a happy birthday.)

the passion for destruction is a creative passion

2005-06-10T23:03:00.000-05:00

There are two things that have got to stop...

1) Advertisements that use Got (fill in the blank)? still.
The other week I saw an advertisement for a Mom and Pop barber shop that read....
Got flattop?

Please people it is over. It is time to move on from this.

2) The recent phenomenon of combining celebrity couples names to ONE GIANT NAME. It is really quite silly and sometimes I think that they just make up people who are allegedly dating just to do this.

Bennifer
Brangelina
TomKat

This is just plain silly.

Did you know that there is an email plea to free Katie Holmes from the brainwashing clutches of the olympic sofa hurdler, Tom Cruise?

but the party's in my pants and everyone is invited!!!!

2005-06-09T23:12:00.000-05:00

The song I have stuck in my head today is "'scuse me for livin'" by former Minneapolis based band tulip sweet and her trail of tears

The song is very much a "fuck you if you don't like me it's your fault if you don't so you can just kiss my ass anthem"

In looking for this hyperlink I found out that they have broken up. Very sad.

a question for the ages

2005-06-08T21:47:00.000-05:00

My co-worker, who I eat lunch with every day, really likes pop music. So we listen to the pop stations to and from work. It is not my type of music but sometimes it is fun to car dance to. (You know what I’m talking about.) We usually are in the car during the “Back in the Day Buffet” on B 96, which plays a mixture of Hip Hop and Pop classics from the ‘80’s and ‘90’s. We usually sit and reminisce over songs that we used to like in high school and get nostalgic for days when we used to rush home from school to watch “Yo! MTV Raps.” Mostly it just makes me laugh. (Dizzy Gillespe plays the sax??)

This leads me to my question that has been plaguing me for a week or so. Do any of you remember the band Color Me Badd? They had this song called “I Wanna Sex You Up”. It was quite controversial when I was in school because it had the word sex in it. (That tells you how old I am) There are two versions of the song and the version that I heard on the “Back in the Day Buffet” was the version that leads me to a series of questions that have been troubling me.

Here are the lyrics:

Girl you make me feel real good,
We can do it till we both wake up
Girl you know im hooked on you
and this is what i'll do,

WE CAN DO IT TILL WE BOTH WAKE UP???!!!!

The song is basically all about this guy(s) who want to shag with this girl. Did they suddenly turn g rated and decide they want to just sit and dream together? Have any of the group members ever had sex before? I don’t think they have because it isn’t something you achieve during REM sleep. Is the whole song about a wet dream maybe?

No wonder they were a one hit wonder band. Hey are they on that reality show?

Friendly little poll

2005-06-06T20:43:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to get this blog out entry out. I have been out of comission for a couple days due to my never ending birthday parties, vacations and make up dinners.

I just got back from my parents who live three or so hours away and they do not have internet and are very computer illiterate. So much so that when we drove into the nearest town to a coffee chain to use the wireless internet my mom touched my iBook with her manicured nail occassionally would squeal and say "I touched it" like a giddy four year old touching a grasshopper for the first time. Both scared and excited. Wireless isn't free there, so that is why I haven't been able to blog for a couple of days. I read that if you want people to read your blog you need to write often.

Oh yes, my friendly little poll....
For my birthday my sisters and mom treated me to a spa day. Sounds like I am a princess, but the town is small and massages are like $30. What I have noticed in all of my spa travels is that they always play the new age music. To me, it isn't very relaxing, I am more of jazz girl.

Poll question:
How do you feel about the new age music only in spas?

Please be honest. Because I don't care for it, it wouldn't make me angry at you if you like it.

Question for Spa workers?
Can a client bring their own music?

Thank you for indulging me.

It's my birthday

2005-06-03T09:51:00.000-05:00

It is my birthday today. I wouldn't be up this early, but my neighbor's bloodhound puppy won't stop bellowing. It really doesn't like to be alone all day. I feel bad for it, but know that soon it will be too tired to bark any more.

If you read this blog please wish me a Happy Birthday.

my pockets hurt

2005-05-31T21:50:00.000-05:00

I feel like I have lost my other best friend. I guess I would like to know if he is miserable too.

This is how I feel today....

bay-se mio qoragon de mib
yâ rabbî si se tornarad
tan mal mio doler al-garîb
enfermo ÿed quan sanarad

If you know what I am talking about please email lemonlifemail@yahoo.com

kids with guns who are all alone in the white light

2005-05-30T16:21:00.000-05:00

While procrastinating from doing super tedious school district paperwork I decided to check out some songs to download from itunes. (I wonder if enough people read your blog and you mention itunes enough if they will give you free songs. Probably not.) I had no idea what the new Gorillaz album sounded like. The only song I had heard to this point was Feel Good, Inc. on the new IPOD commercial. I decided to give the rest of the album, Demon Days, the old ITUNES 30 second try. Is it just me or are all of the songs just basically?

name of song
break beat
a whoo hoo or two
name of song

Are they paying homage to the Beach Boys or have they just run out of ideas? Well really how long can a cartoon band for adults last?

Eye doo deeclarah

2005-05-30T12:15:00.000-05:00

So, I am working from home today and since I am not home at this time usually, I took a gander at what I am missing on TV. I know that it is a national holiday. I am not a workaholic, I just couldn't afford another personal day for my birthday. I decided that I would just flip through the channels while combing my hair. I rested for a while on a "A Differnt World" I remember liking that show when I was younger, but now it is a bit dated and embarrassing to watch. What I had completely forgotten about or blocked out was what a bad actress Jasmin Guy was. I remember thinking that she was annoying when I was younger, but now at almost 29 I realized it was because of all the intense overacting. Couldn't they find someone else to play a southern bell than someone from Boston? As a former speach pathology major I wish I could phonetically work out what she sounds like and how loud and bad it is, but that would mean sitting through the show and showing you a bunch of symbols that you wouldn't understand. Here is a hint for all people who would like to torture me for information in the future. If I just wont crack, find Jasmin Guy and have her reprise her Whitley role as a one woman show without intermission. If you ever watch the show again you will know what I mean.

Born in the fourth barn in July

2005-05-29T18:51:00.000-05:00

I heard the news about Oliver Stone’s arrest it reminded me of my own Oliver Stone drug story. It isn’t really mine per se, but at least I heard it first hand.

A few years back I went to the University of Iowa. I was dating at the time an aspiring film director. His movies were weird and deep and he was a GINORMOUS asshole. I was the muse for a lot of his movies and I should have known that when in one of them I met a violent end that it was going to be over soon.

Anyway, one of the years I was there, Oliver Stone came to speak at the University. The entire film department was in a buzz because he was there, even my boyfriend who previously thought Oliver Stone was becoming “too commercial.” Mr. Stone’s schedule included speaking during some of the classes about his craft, giving a talk to the public and immediately following the talk a late dinner with some of the students in the film club who helped to bring him there. I can’t remember now if my ex-boyfriend had gone. (I have mostly succeeded in blocking him out completely.) I do remember that one of his friends had gone though. His friend was very New York, blunt and pushy, I always told him that he would make a good producer. In fact that is what I think he is doing now.

This is what the friend had related to us about the dinner. Firstly, Mr. Stone was very late even though they had all left at the same time. If any of you know Iowa City you know that it is not that big. It honestly does not take that long to get from the main campus to the Pedestrian Mall. Anyway when he finally arrived at the restaurant to meet the anxious awestricken students he was completely obliterated. The friend wasn’t sure on what exactly what but was pretty sure coke was in the mix. The students were all pretty disappointed because although Mr. Stone was in their presence, he just wasn’t all that easy to talk to. Bret with his fuck it anyway attitude decided that he was not going to have this be a wasted opportunity for him and decided that although the conversation would definatly be one sided he was going to talk to one of his idols. The conversation between the two to me is now shady, but I do remember that Mr. Stone did give him his card with his personal office phone number on it.

A few months later after graduation he decided to use the card to his advantage. Here is what the conversation was like. (I wasn’t there and it has been a long time but the outcome will ultimately be the same)

He begins by speaking to the secretary and explains who he is:
“How did he get this number?” He can hear Oliver whisper to his secretary.
“How did you get this number?”
“I am one of the students that he met at the University of Iowa event. He gave me his card.”
“He says that you gave him his card.”
He can hear Mr. Stone muttering to himself. Basically the conclusion is that he cannot remember. The conversation between the secretary and Mr. Stone is loud enough for Brian to hear that fact.
“I want to talk to him about the internship that he offered me.”
“internship?”
Mr. Stone gets on the phone at this point.
“Oh, hi. Hi Bret, yeah I remember you.”
“Hi, I am calling about the internship that you offered me. I just finished school at the University of Iowa and am giving you a call like you suggested.”
They end up talking for a bit.
“Oh, yeah that’s right. Well, we will get you set up then. I will pass you back to my secretary and we will see you soon.”

Because he cannot remember, Bret ends up getting the internship with Mr. Stone that summer. Yes, he did trick Mr. Stone into giving him an internship. But if you show up somewhere completely blitzed in front of a bunch of hungry film students you kind of deserve it.

Yay!

2005-05-28T16:47:00.000-05:00

I have been linked!! And by none other than my favorite blogstress. I feel like an up and coming actor who has been given the thumbs up by Bobby DeNiro. Thank you!

On the downside I have to be careful what I say now due to the fact that she and I have mutual acquaintences. There is one entry I am already glad that I was too lazy to post. I also can't go on diatribes about what a *@$%^& my very recent ex is. (It is not one of those bitter things, it was more going to be a girls guide to those of us who coninuously attract the wounded soul types)

All in all I am very happy and she said very flattering things about me. Thank you for brightening my week, it has been a hard couple of days.

Be careful what you wish for

2005-05-27T21:23:00.000-05:00

My wish came true. Five days early, but it came true all the same. Now that it has came true I realize that maybe I didn't want it to. Is there some kind of wish game antidote? Now that I know the power of the wish game I would have much rather had wished that I would win the powerball jackpot. It's $218 million.

NOTE TO ALL WHO PARTICIPATE IN WISH GAME IN THE FOLLOWING ENTRY:
Choose your wish carefully and make sure you are ready to take on your wish if it does come true.

My wish has become a burden that I do not have the strength to articulate.

Brought to you by Hookers

2005-05-25T17:34:00.000-05:00

This is a game brought to you by Hookers on Stilts. I want my wish to come true too.

your instincts has its advantages all the time... This is freaky as anything...DO NOT CHEAT (You'll will kick yourself later) I was a little skeptical trying this, but if you follow the instructions to the "t" you'll be surprised!!!! All of my answers were accurate. We'll see tomorrow if the wish comes true. I'll let you know. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out! The person who sent it to me said her wish came true 10 minutes after they read the mail. BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It takes about three minutes...it's worth a try :) First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!
1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column. 2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want. 3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex. NO LOOKING AHEAD...OR IT WON"T TURN OUT RIGHT! 4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family....) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots. 5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!!! 6. Finally, make a wish.
And now the key for the game..... 1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game. 2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love. 3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out. 4. You care most about the person you put in 4. 5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well. 6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star. 7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3. 8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7. 9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. 10. and 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life NOW...post this bulletin (dont reply) within the hour... IF you do.. your wish will come true... If you don't it will become the opposite u must post this in another room in 3 hours!!!! GOOD LUCK

Down the toilet

2005-05-25T17:30:00.000-05:00

Last night my long distance relationship ended. Right after the phone call I plunged the toilet in my apartment. I thought that was a fitting metaphor.

Song stuck in my head is "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" by Colin Hay

Feckless

2005-05-18T23:09:00.000-05:00

Feckless is a word that I save and use to describe certain people. If you do not know what feckless means here is the Merriam-Webster definition:

Main Entry: feck·less

Pronunciation: 'fek-l&s

Function: adjective

Etymology: Scots, from feck effect, majority, from Middle English (Sc) fek, alteration of Middle English effect<

1 : WEAK, INEFFECTIVE

2 : WORTHLESS, IRRESPONSIBLE

Now that you know what it means feel free to use it as often as possible, especially when describing other people you work with.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

2005-05-16T17:19:00.000-05:00

So, when Gavin Rosedale heard his wife Gwen Stefani’s new release “Holla Back Girl” for the first time and heard the lyrics:

“This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.”

Did he say in his polite British way that he thought it was “Brilliant”?

shao lin blood suckers

2005-05-15T18:28:00.000-05:00

Why do all vampires on television and movies know kung fu?

Amor de lejos Amor de pendejos

2005-05-12T21:20:00.000-05:00

The above title roughly translates to:

"Long distance love is the love of idiots"

I work at a non profit in the Latino community. Many of my co-workers are Latino. When I told one of them that I am currently in a long distance relationship he said that there are two old sayings regarding long distance relationships. The first one is "amor de lejos amor de pendejos" the second one is:

"Amor de lejos, los cuatro son felices./ In a long distance relationship there are four happy people "

The hardest days to be in a long distance relationship are days like today. Days when it is gray and rainy and all you want to do is stay in bed and be with the one you love and stare out the window and watch it rain. It is days like this that make me realize that I really miss him.

I'm sad now and I think that I am just going to go to sleep. Maybe tomorrow it will be sunny.

what not to do

2005-05-11T23:06:00.000-05:00

So, I am sitting at my favorite bar tonight having a relaxing time with a friend. I am sitting in a bench seat next to this couple who seem to be on a first date. How cute I think to myself. The questions he asks her are very introductory, that is why I know that they do not know each other all that well or at all. The problem isn't his questions which are of the generic date variety, the problem are her answers. All of them seem to last around five minutes. After a few of her diatribes, I realize that she has probably done a nasty mix or Starbucks espresso shots and pints of french wine. (Could be harder stuff, she does look suburban) Her brain is definately working faster than her mouth. Throughout their stay he seems to be bored and you can tell that he is definately searching for a way out. His attempts to break into the conversation are stiffled though because she has found something else to talk about. Often these topics run into each other just so she doesn't have to stop yaking. No segway at all.
"Did you see that news story last night about that woman who was stealing money from her son sports team? The most live changing trip I have ever taken in my life was to Rome."

He brings up a topic she interjects with something she has to add often times talking over her date. (Guys hate being stepped on like that by the way) His only reprive is a cell phone call from her daughter (Yes, she is that loud I know who it is and she did have fun on her sport's teams trip) After her call he has worked up the courage and says those ever famous words:

"I kind of have to get up early tomorrow."
"Oh yeah, that's right I forgot about that." She replies.

He has already provided himself a way out, but since she has been talking the whole time she hasn't finished her dinner.

"I just want to kiss you right now." She says after taking another bite.
He mumbles something.
"Is it hot in here?" She says a while later.
"Yeah, it is a bit hot in here."
"It is like Arizona hot. Arizona at noon in June."
"Mumble, mumble, golf mumble."

So they get up to leave in a hurry. I think that it is all that "I want to kiss you"..."It is hot in here talk." Nudge, nudge, wink wink.

Before you read the following I would like to say that I am not a dating expert. Because I am an introvert I often times spend my time in social situations observing people and this is what I have found to be true. Take it how you want and if you think it is bullshit please feel free to write me and say so.

Anyway, here is my advice to all the single women out there:
1) Do NOT talk your date's ear off. It is okay to talk and to talk about yourself but realize when you haven't heard your date talk for a while that you are talking way too much.

2) Do NOT drink excessively on a date. Doesn't anyone watch Blind Date ? Actually I think that show should be required viewing before any date. Being drunk on a first date really gives a bad impression. If you are that self concious that the only way you feel comfortable is to drink, maybe you don't feel good enough about yourself to be dating. Assholes can smell a girl with low self esteem miles away.

3)If you have low self esteem do NOT have sex on the first date. If you are going to give it away, do not be pissed if the guy does not call you again. There really isn't a reason for him to put in anymore effort unless you are dynamite in the sack or a porn star. And don't call me upset and say "I met this great guy the other night. We went out on a first date and I had a lot of fun. I really want to see him again but he wont return any of my calls."

Anyway, I should go, i have to get up at 7:00 tomorrow and I have been pressing snooze a crazy amount.

If I'm not doing it for you

2005-05-11T18:41:00.000-05:00

I came to blogger and blogging because of a blog written by a former classmate of mine. Her blog Hookers on Stilts is one of the things that get me through my day. It is funny, shocking, keeps me on the know about former classmates of mine and helps me not feel so (fill in the blank).

While browsing blogger I also found another blog that I have become addicted to. This one is called Waiter Rant It reminds me of the days I spent supporting myself through college at a super trendy restuarant. The people who dined there were bitchy and demanding and the fellow staff (I do not just mean the servers) were so coked up that the place could be powered by their excess energy. I played around with the idea of writing a play about the restuarant aptly named:
SODDOM AND GOMORRAH STILL EXISTS

I am too far away from the whole experience to write this now, but I am kicking myself for not doing it. The person who writes Waiter Rant would be a good ghost writer.

So, these are the blogs that I like and if I'm not doing it for you please check out these blogs.

Song in my head this evening is: "Warning Sign" by Coldplay

Stuck in a time warp

2005-05-09T23:55:00.000-05:00

On Thursdays and Saturdays I sit at the same coffee shop to write but I end up people watching instead. I have already carved out a place for myself sitting at the bar that over looks a pedestrian mall, which is really good for said activity. Usually I am wearing my ipod and it makes me giggle to watch businessmen walk to the beat to Peaches or some other mismatched pairing. What baffles me most in my people watching is how many people are stuck in a time warp. I live in a pretty metropolitan area; we have access to television and fashion magazines so I am not sure why the ‘80’s are alive and well here. Over the course of the three or so weeks that I have attempted being a writer again I have witnessed the following:

Women who mold their bangs ‘80’s style. You know what I am talking about. The feathering, the ratting, the side blow outs that look like they have fins growing out of their heads if you see them from the back.

Mullets of all shapes and sizes with varying curliness on people of all ages and genders.

Rat tails of all lengths

Zubaz (see badfads )

I actually smelled an older women wearing exclamation perfume. I haven’t smelled it since 5th grade so it took a while to place.

Frosted jeans

Why are people still dressing like this? The ‘80’s were 25 years ago. There is no reason why you and your grandson need too have matching mullets. If anyone has any idea why this is still happening in our inner cities please feel free to comment.

Although, it makes me wonder what was so great about their past that they have to hang onto that time period still. Maybe they can bottle that up and sell it to me.

Because it is in my blog description

2005-05-07T00:30:00.000-05:00

In case you were wondering what is stuck in my head tonight, "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd.

the neighbors of my life

2005-05-05T21:47:00.000-05:00

So now that it is spring there has been a complete overhaul on who lives in my building and the building adjacent to mine.

Throughout my rental history my neighbors have always been really inconsiderate people. Now as I sit and try to watch t.v. I am forced to listen to the heavy bass of my downstairs neighbor’s music. To clue you in to the extent of his bass I would like to note that he is also a dj. He has lived here for a while, but recently his girlfriend moved out so he has lost his nice buffer. I have always thought he was a jackass and other people in the building share my view. He is aware of this and he used to pimp out his girlfriend to borrow sugar, borrow movies or get rides to the grocery store. No one would ever give it to him if he asked on his own. Asking him for something in return is out of the question. He freaked out once because my roommate asked him for a roll of toilet paper. Anyway, now that the girlfriend is gone he is letting his true asshole out. His music will end around 10 p.m. that will only give about two hours before the fucker on the other end of the building begins to practice drumming. Yes your addition in right Mr. F. starts drumming at midnight or later and will sometimes drum until 7:00 a.m. This cycle has been happening for about three weeks. My roommate has taken to sleeping in the living room now. I am not a prude but when you come home from work in an after school program inside of an alternative charter high school all you want is a little piece and quiet. The only way I think that I will get it though is if I decide to deafen myself.

Although this is bad, but not as bad as the duplex I lived in with my sister a couple of years ago. My neighbors in the duplex had a very interesting living situation and interesting parenting skills. The people who live there are: the mother, father, the teenaged girlfriend of their son and the girlfriend's and son's little girl. The little girl is a victim of what looks like cerebral palsy.

The first few months are fine, you wouldn’t know that we had neighbors, then more and more often the son/boyfriend starts coming around with his friends. These boys end up having a run of the house whenever they are there and end up staying there for weeks at a time and often disappearing for the same time period. You always know when the boys are home because the entire house smells like pot and the music is so loud the neighboring house can hear the music. (I asked they said yes.) The afternoons after the gang wake up and the weekends are non-stop music. Sleeping is non-existent Fridays through Sundays. I wish I were exaggerating when I say that it was pure torture. For the second Christmas that I lived there the son/boyfriend got a microphone so not only do I have to hear the 8 mile soundtrack for weeks on end, but I also have to hear this kid rap badly along with it at full microphone loudness. There are not words to describe how loud this is. Once he got the mic he stayed until we got them evicted in May.

The boy is not supposed to live there. I know this because the landlord has said so (He seemed surprised when I let him know about him) and I think that it is also a condition of the state that the boyfriend does not live there. (I believe because of the little girl’s condition) A Social Worker visits about once a week and when she comes to the door you can see this boy run to the garage and shut the door. (The walls are thin and the house is heavily insulated due to its proximity to the airport so the conversations have hinted to him not being in their life as a condition.)

We have had several instances where we have talked to them about the noise. One time my sister ends up going over there because once again we cannot hear the movie we are trying to watch and are getting contact highs. When she comes back she tells me the dad and the group of boys were sitting on the couch smoking marijuana and the loud music ends up being a porn movie.

The saddest thing about this living situation is that the little girl is wheelchair bound from her condition. It sounds like she is often alone somewhere in the house, because the duplex is old and hardly wheelchair accessible and they just leave her where ever. While everyone else is downstairs with the music so loud you can’t think this little girl is screaming for her mother, who often abandons her where she is not. The girl calls for her for hours until her voice just can’t call any more and her cries are muffled sqeaks. It ends up breaking my heart.

Deep down I hope that their getting evicted makes them think about the little girl, how the eviction looks to the social worker and maybe scares them a little about losing her. I am pessimistic though and doubt that what my sister and I did had any effect on that situation.

Cuidate Cynthia. Todavia pienso en ti y ojala que tu estas mejor.

one more month

2005-05-03T21:28:00.000-05:00

In exactly one month from today I will be 29. Yes, I am someone who takes their birthday seriously. I am not sure what I have planned yet, but rest assured all of my friends will be completely broke by then. I don't want presents. I just want to enjoy a drink or two with my friends and maybe only pay for half of them. If you were my friend these are the things that I will make sure happen on your birthday:

1) You will definately get a card. Most friends will also get a gift of some sort.

2) You will never have to pay for a drink and you probably wont have to pay for your own dinner.

I doubt any of my friends read this blog. In fact I know that they don't. If you have a friend with a birthday coming up at least buy them a drink and say "Happy Birthday, (Man/girl)" They will appreciate it.

roadtrip from the southwest

2005-05-01T22:23:00.000-05:00

Here is a little about me.
My junior and senior year I went to a public art based high school. It was very small due to the fact that there was a pretty extensive application process. People think that it is strange that I was one of 120 or so in my graduating class.
My high school is often likened to Fame. (The people here actually call it that. "Oh, you went to Fame.") I guess that there are some similarities but there was never a time when we all broke out in a simultaneous pre-choreographed dance and singing number. Another way it was not like fame was that we actually had some non performing arts areas of focus. Among the dancers, musicians and thespians were writers, visual artists and media artists (a.k.a. video production and photography)

I had a friend in the dance art area. We have completely lost touch since 2000 but occasionally I will get emails from her to go see her performances. I don’t think that it is a coincidence that she only wants to see me when I have to pay $15 to $20 to see her. I dread these emails. Before you say to yourself: ”God, what a bitch. Why wouldn't she want to support her friend."let me explain my point of view.

The fact that we live in the same city and the only time I hear from her is when she wants to buy a ticket to see her kind of makes me annoyed. It wouldn’t be so bad if her choreography wasn’t so painful to watch.

This is what happened the last time I went.

Setting: The performance takes place in small local no frills theater in a bar.
Imagine yourself: You watch a man and a woman pull a couple dilapiated card table chairs onto the stage and set them side by side. House lights go down. When the lights come up a man and a woman are sitting and the man is making very exaggerated driving motions. They both bounce in their seats, suppose that the car has extremely bad shocks. (For three minutes or so) Then they look at each other, look away from each other and then take turns looking at the person while the other person looks away. (This goes on for a while) They both begin to make shifting car noises sound effects (Think 4 year old boy and tonka trucks) They make these noises in conjunction with making simultaneous shifting movements with their arms. Both of them. (This goes on for a while.) Then they shake their heads in unison very violently to take breaks to scream at each other:
“Are we there yet?arewethereyet?arewethereyet?"
They begin the cycle of shaking their heads and repeating are we there yet for quite some time.
Then for no reason they begin to have a fake gun fight. (In a car???) Then they begin to stand on the chairs have air fights and gun fights. We know that the dance is coming to an end when they take turns picking each other up and twirling each other around. (A pure demosntration of strength on both of their parts)
When all is said and done the piece is about 10 minutes.

Another friend, also a graduate of said school, (also with the blog with all of the bad things that happen to him) accompanied me because he also received an email invitation. We both were confused about what to think. We both wanted to laugh, i was so speechless that all that would come out of my mouth were random clicks from my throat. We both could not wait to bolt as soon as the show was over because the worst thing that can happen is if the performer asks you what you thought. Your response can’t be: “What the hell were you thinking? What the fuck was that?” We ended up running out of there, which may have been rude, but which would have been ruder.

I received another email from her a couple days ago to see her new show. I think I’ll skip it this time and save the 15 dollars.

Note: I have also watched her and a former roommate French braid their hair on stage.

so take a look at me now

2005-04-30T17:01:00.000-05:00

I have an affliction. There is never a time when I do not have a song stuck in my head. Also, I am highly susceptible to people influencing the songs that end up being stuck in my head. My friends love to influence me. In fact I just received an email the other day from a friend with the complete lyrics to Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds”. That was a painful couple of days. Another friend likes to put his cell phone up to the radio whenever an Arrowsmith song comes on the radio.

So, in effort to find new and interesting ways to dislodge these often unwanted songs from my head I will be featuring the songs that are stuck in my head in this blog.

Sometime this affliction is a curse because it is often bands or songs that I especially don’t like, but I sometimes like it because it helps me with my memory. I can honestly remember what people say to me or things that I have to do because of my little problem.

Todays feature: “Keep Livin’” by Jean Grae
I actually like this song. I have to piano part on a loop over and over. So, it probably isn’t her song that is stuck in my head since the piano loop is sampled. Well, since I do not know who it is sampled from this is the best I can do. (If you do know send me an email)
I saw Jean Grae last summer. When she performed this song there was some technical difficulties and the turntables lost power and after two failed attempts to get them back up the crowd convinced her to go a cappella. She is a very talented woman.

rules 1 and 2

2005-04-29T22:58:00.000-05:00

Having read other peoples blogs I know that sometimes people write you as a result of what they read on your blog. Sometimes these people can be great and become people who are your friends and can have intelligent conversations with, but other times people who respond are complete assholes.

Although I invite people to email me and comment on things that they read on this blog, there are things that I will not stand these are:

Rule #1: No cussing me out for no reason
Why? It is rude and your mother didn’t raise you like that. If you want to discuss something with me I would be happy to correspond with you just don’t call me nasty names or insult my opinions by using expletives. (See my link to email on the right hand side of the page)

Rule #2: No dirty talk
Please do not write me and call me a slut and tell me all of the things you will do to me if you ever get me alone. There are other blogs for that I am sure and this will never be one of those blogs.

Please do not make me remind you of this over and over.

the end of my blog writing virginity

2005-04-29T15:48:00.000-05:00

This is my first time writing a blog so be gentle with me.

I was recommended that I should write a blog by my best friend who has been writing a blog for years. (I found this out very recently) His blog is just about all of the bad things that happen to him. You might think that might not be enough to have a substantial blog, but take it from me it is enough. (I guess maybe I don’t have that much credibility since you do not know me yet) He has been run over by a car, has been stalked and has a wife from hell. Anyway, you can’t believe all of the truly horrible things that happen to him. I do not know where his blog is or I would link you to it. That may sound strange that I do not know where it is, but I guess some things should stay your own.

It has taken me a while to jump into blogdom. I guess I really do not know what I should write, but I have been told that some people just write grocery lists. (Do they think that over zealous readers will send them groceries?) If you are looking for grocery lists maybe this isn’t the blog for you. To be honest I don’t know what this blog will bring you.

Stick around and find out.