roadtrip from the southwest

Here is a little about me.
My junior and senior year I went to a public art based high school. It was very small due to the fact that there was a pretty extensive application process. People think that it is strange that I was one of 120 or so in my graduating class.
My high school is often likened to Fame. (The people here actually call it that. "Oh, you went to Fame.") I guess that there are some similarities but there was never a time when we all broke out in a simultaneous pre-choreographed dance and singing number. Another way it was not like fame was that we actually had some non performing arts areas of focus. Among the dancers, musicians and thespians were writers, visual artists and media artists (a.k.a. video production and photography)

I had a friend in the dance art area. We have completely lost touch since 2000 but occasionally I will get emails from her to go see her performances. I don’t think that it is a coincidence that she only wants to see me when I have to pay $15 to $20 to see her. I dread these emails. Before you say to yourself: ”God, what a bitch. Why wouldn't she want to support her friend."let me explain my point of view.

The fact that we live in the same city and the only time I hear from her is when she wants to buy a ticket to see her kind of makes me annoyed. It wouldn’t be so bad if her choreography wasn’t so painful to watch.

This is what happened the last time I went.

Setting: The performance takes place in small local no frills theater in a bar.
Imagine yourself: You watch a man and a woman pull a couple dilapiated card table chairs onto the stage and set them side by side. House lights go down. When the lights come up a man and a woman are sitting and the man is making very exaggerated driving motions. They both bounce in their seats, suppose that the car has extremely bad shocks. (For three minutes or so) Then they look at each other, look away from each other and then take turns looking at the person while the other person looks away. (This goes on for a while) They both begin to make shifting car noises sound effects (Think 4 year old boy and tonka trucks) They make these noises in conjunction with making simultaneous shifting movements with their arms. Both of them. (This goes on for a while.) Then they shake their heads in unison very violently to take breaks to scream at each other:
“Are we there yet?arewethereyet?arewethereyet?"
They begin the cycle of shaking their heads and repeating are we there yet for quite some time.
Then for no reason they begin to have a fake gun fight. (In a car???) Then they begin to stand on the chairs have air fights and gun fights. We know that the dance is coming to an end when they take turns picking each other up and twirling each other around. (A pure demosntration of strength on both of their parts)
When all is said and done the piece is about 10 minutes.

Another friend, also a graduate of said school, (also with the blog with all of the bad things that happen to him) accompanied me because he also received an email invitation. We both were confused about what to think. We both wanted to laugh, i was so speechless that all that would come out of my mouth were random clicks from my throat. We both could not wait to bolt as soon as the show was over because the worst thing that can happen is if the performer asks you what you thought. Your response can’t be: “What the hell were you thinking? What the fuck was that?” We ended up running out of there, which may have been rude, but which would have been ruder.

I received another email from her a couple days ago to see her new show. I think I’ll skip it this time and save the 15 dollars.

Note: I have also watched her and a former roommate French braid their hair on stage.